You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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