So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so let's talk penis.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize