Porn is love you can see.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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