i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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