ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
