'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Someone signed my nipple.
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