Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
