I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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