Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I need to calm my uterus...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
