So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
