Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
