Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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