Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
