Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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