Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think your dad took our porno
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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