THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
worst night to have a conscience
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
