May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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