I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
