i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
