so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
