for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
