Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
