A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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