i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
