Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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