Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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