For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We have so much sex to catch up on
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
