I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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