instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
