It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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