ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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