Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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