So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize