highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize