you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
