Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
