That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
More tranny stories later!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
