Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
