She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Come back. Shots need mouths.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
