I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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