He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
