Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize