I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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