Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
