I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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