You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
