R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
