Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
