WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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