So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
