Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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