i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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