i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
