i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
