You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
