Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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