i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
