ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
