1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
