He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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